Nothing lasts forever. Especially not the honeymoon! In the beginning of our relationships, we are in such a psychological stage that we don’t step on each other’s toes. We keep things mushy, lovey-dovey, and picture perfect. But what happens when the honeymoon stage starts to wear off and arguments over everyday things start to creep into the relationship? Read on and find out for yourself!
Psychiatrists and psychologists have placed much worth on couples who argue. This is actually an area of a lot of research. Here are some findings showing why couples who argue actually love each other more.
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Arguing is a way to communicate
If arguing is done in a reasonable manner, without raising voices or throwing things at each other, it can be a healthy, productive form of communication. It expresses each partner’s opinions and shows that any topic can have two sides. Through arguing, we can learn more about our partner’s point of view and gain a better appreciation of how they think and feel.
However, for a healthy argument, psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz shares the following five tips:
- Don’t insist on always being right.
- It’s better to start speaking up when you feel the anger bubbling up inside you.
- Give your partner a chance to talk and honestly listen to them.
- Don’t deviate from the topic being discussed.
- Never say something that you will regret the rest of your life.
Another big tip is never to mention the word “divorce” while having an argument. Divorce is a very heavy word and once mentioned, will take the relationship on a downward spiral.
Arguing doesn’t mean a relationship is suffering
Arguments indicate that two people are mature enough to discuss problems openly. They bring their own individual points of view, reach a decision, clear the air, shake hands, and move on.
Arguments signal that the couple is committed to each other
Not arguing may mean that the couple is resigned, not willing to talk about the problem, or may not care enough to solve an issue and save their relationship. Hence, arguing shows that the couple is committed to the relationship and will give their all to have a healthy one.
Arguments can express needs
When couples argue, they are simply expressing their needs and what suits them. This shows that they have mutual understanding and respect each other well enough to speak their minds.
Arguments can lead to discoveries about our partner that we might not have been aware of. For example, arguing over the next vacation destination will reveal that although you and your partner love mountains, they actually prefer lounging on a beach versus hiking… and that they’ve been hiking with you because they love you.
Arguments can lead to a passionate relationship
Arguments can even kindle passion in a relationship. Once the argument is shaken and dusted off, couples are known to be more comfortable and enjoy the physical relationship. Make-up sex is often the result of an argument and is good for both partners.
No two peas in a pod are exactly the same. So naturally, when two people start to live under the same roof, disagreements are bound to occur. The key is to make sure that you discuss them constructively. Following the advice listed above will help prevent a minor disagreement from turning into something you regret down the line.
Want to share your best advice on how to keep an argument at a healthy level? Please write your comments in the box below! And don’t forget to read about how couples who have a great relationship post less on social media.