Is there somebody in your life who seems to be picture perfect on the surface and yet, for some reason, when you are with that person, you just feel low? Your intuition tells you that there is something wrong, but you are just not able to point out what it is. Everything about the person presents a perfect exterior but inside, you feel something is wrong. Maybe this person constantly belittles your feelings saying that it is for your own good or maybe they subtly humiliate you as if they’re joking joke. If that is the case, chances are high that you are being emotionally manipulated.
Emotional manipulators can be found across all walks of your life. These are people who tend to mentally exploit others to seize control. Being with them can bring about a lot of psychological stress and suffocating toxicity to your life. It might even cause you to question your own self-worth. It is very important to identify an emotional manipulator as early as possible.
FeedFond has compiled 11 different characteristics of emotional manipulators you can use to be careful and keep the toxicity at bay.
Contents & Quick Navigation
- #11 The minute you meet them, you will love them
- #10 They will blame it on your imagination
- #9 They do not walk their talk
- #8 They love to play the blame game
- #7 They really know how to make you feel guilty
- #6 They play the role of the martyr
- #5 They are in love with the idea “My problem is bigger than yours”
- #4 They know your weak spots and how to push your buttons
- #3 If they are sad, everybody is sad
- #2 When they cannot raise their argument, they raise their voice
- #1 Control freaks
#11 The minute you meet them, you will love them
They are charming and pretend to be sensitive and vulnerable. They give off a friendly impression, and you will feel so comfortable that you may find yourself telling them almost every tale from your life in a very short span of time.
#10 They will blame it on your imagination
One of the first things to watch out for is their lies. They can very skillfully craft a lie such that when they have finished talking about their circumstance, you will surely believe that you are insane.
The scenario: When you see that person at a place they aren’t supposed to be and confront them about it, they will deny it. A typical response would be “ Are you out of your mind? I did not go there. How could I? I was at the office with a ton of coworkers and I had a meeting at that time. You can also check up with my colleagues. The whole department was there. You definitely saw someone else.” (A statement complete with alibi you may not even think about checking)
#9 They do not walk their talk
Every now and then, they will tell you about how life should be. But, they hardly show any signs of putting their words into practice. They just say things to make you feel they are a better person. For instance, a woman might tell you how it is not a good idea to be verbally abusive to young children but, on the other hand, you’ll hear here yelling at her kids all the time.
Additionally, emotional manipulators will vow to be there for any and every time you need, when the time comes, they’re nowhere to be found. They will, however, have a ready excuse for their absence.,
#8 They love to play the blame game
Nothing is their fault. Everything has to be blamed on you. If they have done something wrong, it is because you made them do it.
A typical statement would be “I am not normally like this. I don’t do it with anyone else except with you because you take the devil out of me.” If you get angry with them, again it’s your fault, “Why do you have such unrealistic expectations and thoughts? You know my limitations.”
#7 They really know how to make you feel guilty
Emotional manipulators will simply make you feel guilty about everything. If you tell them that you are bothered by something, they will tell you not to bring up the topic and spoil the vibe. If you do not tell them what is bothering you, they will tell you “It’s your fault. Why didn’t you tell me? Do you think I won’t be able to understand?.”
#6 They play the role of the martyr
First, they will be extremely eager to help you out of a situation. Then, it will be followed by explanations of the enormity of the task they have volunteered to carry out and how heavy the burden placed on them is. Just to make you feel “indebted”. They love feeling the “power” it gives.
#5 They are in love with the idea “My problem is bigger than yours”
So you have a problem? Keep this in mind, every other problem except that of the emotional manipulator is insignificant.
Every problem that you may face, at every chance they get—instead of empathizing, they will remind you of one single thing and that is their problem is bigger than yours, essentially asking you (if not flat out asking you) to “stop complaining”.
They will first establish their base by understanding your weaknesses, insecurities and other lesser-liked aspects of your life. Then, they will use them against you. For example, if you are not confident about the way you look, they will definitely pass subtle negative comments about your looks.
#3 If they are sad, everybody is sad
They have mastered the art of making people around them feel their negative moods. So if they are upset, they will make sure that everyone around them is upset as well. Everybody will know they are upset—emotional manipulators also make people around them feel an obligation to fix whatever is wrong with their mood.
#2 When they cannot raise their argument, they raise their voice
During discussions, they use aggressive manipulation techniques like a raised voice along with strong intimidating body languages like excited gestures in order to coerce you to agreeing with them or to get what they want.
#1 Control freaks
They love to be in control. They will judge you, make you feel inadequate. And make you go through all sorts of negative emotions to make you vulnerable. After that, they will take out their tension on you and control your behavior to suit their needs.
If you know someone who is going through a hard time because they are with an emotional manipulator, support them and help them try to get out of this situation. One way to get rid of such people is by staying firm in your own stance and not giving in to their demands (this might also drive them crazy).
Also, Check out 10 Psychological Reasons Why Nice People Attract Toxic People